Is God Governor of Your Marriage?

By: Jill Briscoe

There is a story in John 2 about Jesus going to the wedding in Cana. You know the story—He was invited as a guest, and He went graciously and sat beside all the other guests. As custom would have it, the governor of the feast sat between the bride and groom at the head table. He was in charge of the wedding; he gave the orders.

During the feast, a serious thing happened—the wine ran out. Instead of going to the governor (whom they should have gone to) the servants went to Mary. They said, “The wine’s run out.” It doesn’t say why they went to Mary. Maybe they went to her because she was in charge of the food and the wine. They didn’t know what they were going to do. It would have been a disgrace in that culture to run out of food or drink. They certainly didn’t look to Jesus for a miracle because He hadn’t done any yet. But still, when Mary told them to, they approached Jesus and told Him, “The wine’s run out.”

Jesus said, “Fill the jars with water…Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet” (John 2:7-8). And the servants obeyed, even though they were risking their jobs by doing what He told them to do. As far as they knew, they believed they would be serving water, but they poured the drink anyway—and the miracle happened. The governor was very surprised and exclaimed, “This wine is better than any we’ve had before!” In fact, he said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now” (John 2:10).

Jesus turned the water into wine when He took over and gave the orders.

Let’s take that story and use it as a picture of marriage for a minute. So many people I know want Jesus as a guest at their wedding, but they do not want Him as the governor of their marriage. And I believe that both spouses have to make sure that Jesus is the governor of their marriage. First, He must be governor of their lives individually. How do you know if He’s the governor? As Mary said to the servants in the story, “Do whatever He tells you” (John 2:5). What about you? Are you doing what He’s telling you to do? Are you being obedient? Is He governor?

When Jesus quit being the guest in that marriage and that wedding and became the governor, He turned the water into wine, and the Bible tells us it was better than anything they’d had before. In the same way, I believe marriage can be incredibly exciting, better than anything that has gone before. He, as the Scripture says, has “saved the best wine till now.” All the problems that show up on surveys do not need to be if the principle of Christian partnership is right, if God is the God of your individual life, and if God is the governor of your relationship with your husband.

Jill Briscoe is the Founder and Executive Editor of Just Between Us magazine.